let the truth shine through

sorry its been so long

2004-09-29T01:23:00.000-04:00

sorry i havnt posted in a while ive been quite busy. im not going to continue from the 12th which was my last post just from this weekend. im finally taking your advice angela and updating. well thursday night at midnight i technically turned 21 it was nice i went out and drank at the bars with my boys it was cool then we went and bombed campus with flyers for my b-day show. fridayt cleaned and started drinking early due to peer pressure but the best part of it all was i finally got to see angela. it was fun except my friends kept bothering us and put spaghetti and cake all over my car. saturday angela left it was sad. other friends were up had a show after 4 bands the cops came it sucked. i dunno life is crazy right now not really in a good way. jist of it cingular tried to fuck me over but im going to bend them over cuz since june they havnt been giving me my free mobile to mobile instead they are trying to charge me $285. locked me keys in my car now i have no drivers side window. i could have done better but im exhausted and i need to get to bed. i love you angela

"I admit that I'm just a fool for you I am just a fool for you"

that show was off the fuckin hook

2004-09-12T13:37:00.000-04:00

all i have to say is wow!! we had a house show last night consisting of pheonix arizona yacht club, called to arms, white collar massacre, after letting go, the infamous brandy alexander, and ctrl + alt + del. it was insane. everything went amazingly well. we prolly had easily 200 kids in and out of here last night. all the bands said they loved playing here and some even said it was the best show theyve ever played. "ive been in bands 10 years and this is the best show ive ever played" the main thing was that everyone was really cool and got along. we had kids dancing in my fucking basement it was awesome...im all sore and bruised today, but its well worth it. a huge thanks to all the kids that showed, the bands, and to luke for setting this up and doing the promoting...it went really well and its going to happen again.

started working at kilwins this week. yesterday was my third day and it was pretty busy at times but i had a fun time. people were really nice and fun...i met a kewl scene chick which gave me someone to talk to.

well its about time to call angela since i didnt really get a chance to talk to her much yesterday

crazy weekend

2004-09-07T01:58:00.000-04:00

well well well its been a while. i havnt even been here most of the weekend. friday night had a get together at the house of 828. we had a good crowd goin. the normal crew. tricia and her friend came over. there was jessica and some of her friends and some of brendans fencing buddies. we were playing some beerpong and stuff and low and behold a bunch of frat kids show up "eyy wheres the keg?" yeah they thought it was a keg party. that was kewl they left real quick.

saturday night started off the long night by chillin at cats. then me and joe went to another party got to see jenny and amy. went back to cats then went back to brendans. the people across the hall were having a keg party then one kid invited us in to play some darts and about 5 minutes later we got kicked out which wasnt too kewl...but hey it was prolly about 5:30 well me rob and joe were the last three going we decide to to go up to thefire tower to watch the sun come up....dont worry joe was sober as for me and rob...lets just say rob killed a whole fifth he is my hero..i was quite drunk myself....well we get up there and we were in a cloud...couldnt see 10 feet in front of us we came out soaked and it wasnt raining it was crazy there were ice crystals on joes hoody. definatly got back at like 7-7:30.

last night same ol same ol...brendan had some fencing buddies over and cats sister was in town we partied jess stopped by fun times fun times.

today had training for my job i start tommorow im a little nervous still but hey ill get over it. but im out for now......oooooohhhhh yeah i almost forgot about the best news all weekend angela told me that she can come up for my b-day im so excited yay i miss you baby.

ah yes

2004-09-02T20:51:00.000-04:00

well angela said i should update so i am. today i had to get up to take a drug test for the hospital. i also had an interview with kilwins and they ended up calling me later and told me that i can start monday yay. i had a wonderful time in raleigh this weekend with angela. aww my beautiful girlfriend :) definatly partied last night met some cool people ran into thomas and tricia. good times good times but i gotta roll out. sorry so short

"i got my twin glock 40's cocked back"

things are looking up i think

2004-08-31T12:46:00.000-04:00

well i was awaken at 8 this morning from a phone call...it was blowing rock hospital finally. i have to come in thursday morning so hopefully this will work out after all. i honestly think this job is going to suck but for$8.00 an hour i can manage. with this much i might even be able to save up the money to go back to school in the spring.

well in about 10 minutes i have to call into AE to see if i have to work the whopping 2 hour on call shift that they scheduled me for. but hey i got to work an extra 3 hours last night so i did make some money after all. i actually have to get going on the work around the house that im getting paid for too. speaking of money i got my rebate check from cingular finally i swear its been more than the 8-10 weeks they said it would take. yeah so i was supposed to get $100 and i only got $50 plus they spelled my name wrong on the check i am going to have to call and get this straightened and i have a feeling its going to take some raising of the voice on my part to get my way i feel they are trying to dick me out of $50 and the $50 i have already is worthless because my name is not on it how do you get sevaires from squaires?? they look so much alike do they not?

well ive really enjoyed being able to spend time with angela since ive been back. today is going to be the first day that i wont get to see her, but i plan on seeing her tommorow before i leave if she will let me. i miss her already its going to be sad without her but im sure we will keep in good touch like before. hopefully she will be able to come and visit me in boone at some point real soon. well i have to go call work now. have a glorious day

"she screamed Claudio dear Claudio i wish goddamnit we'll make it if you believe....FBI"

my letter to you

2004-08-29T02:36:00.000-04:00

wow tonight was amazing, just like every other night with you. you are amazing. ive never felt this way with anyone before. everything is just so comfortable. i could swear ive known you forever. i just look into those beautiful blue eyes and i see inside you. i know that you care about me. i know i dont say how im feeling as much as you. its sometimes hard for me to express how im feeling in words, i try to show it with actions. dont think that i dont care because you mean so much to me. you are truly wonderful. you are smart and funny and beautiful, sometimes it scares me how alike we are. when i hold you in my arms its like nothing else matters because nothing else does matter. and no matter how far apart we are i feel you are always with me. im so glad that you came to me. i dont care how old you are, its who you are that matters to me, and who i am when i am with you. you make me feel complete. thank you for caring.

you make me happy

2004-08-28T11:53:00.000-04:00

well bitch never called me back for the job im quite annoyed. i could have came back thursday night but i waited and she didnt call so i came back yesterday. got in about 3:30. made it back from boone in 2 hours and 20 minutes not too shabby id say. well basically just hung out with angela all evening. it was great ive missed her greatly. shes so different from every girl ive ever dated....shes better. shes like me in alot of ways i love it. she compliments me alot, its nice to here, and she lets me compliment her. ahhh she is beautiful and amazing. i could just go on about why she is great but im sure most people wouldnt want to read that.
until next time

"it is our hearts that define what has meaning in life some will ask how can this be but it was you who made me feel"

i hate not knowing whats going on

2004-08-26T14:27:00.000-04:00

so i had an interview tuesday they said they would check my references and get back to me in a day or 2. well its thursday and i hadnt heard back so i called and they said that the personel department hasnt gotten back with my reference check so they'd give them a call after lunch and call me back. well needless to say im still waiting. i was hoping to come back tonight but thats looking like its not going to happen. i atleast want to get back early afternoon tommorow so i have as much time to spend with angela as i can. i just want a job damnit. i need money thats why im coming back to raleigh but im not even going to get that much money when im back blah. this sucks i just want to have a damn routine so i dont feel so damn worthless. i miss you

"Everything seemed a little easier when we weren't two hundred miles apart"

this could be a good day

2004-08-24T11:55:00.000-04:00

well i got woken up today by a phone call...normally this would annoy me but it was a good call i have an interview with blowing rock hospital for washing dishes for $7.50 an hour. i hope i get this job i need money. i hope that this doesnt interfere with my plans of going to raleigh this weekend i am really looking forward to see angela. ill prolly come up friday through sunday no matter what but i asked reese to put me on the schedule for sunday monday and tuesday. i hope a conflict does not arise. but first things first i have to get the job. speaking of i should prolly go shower and get ready.

"so hows the weather? do you wanna spend the night together?"

jfk was black

2004-08-23T02:28:00.000-04:00

so im sittin in my house. just got done watching Bubba hotep. very interesting movie. it has Bruce Campbell in it im definatly a bruce campbell fan i read is book "for Satans sake". yeah fucked up movie but i recommend it.

last night had a good party goin on got fucked up for free just a perk of having it at my place and having good friends. played beer pong had some good music goin on. dave from salem was here and he started playing guitar and joe was playing drums fun stuff to watch. yeah but im really tired right now so i think im going go for now peace.

"at least i think that's what i want. do you know what i want? do you know who i am? do you like who i've become?"

the Sock is back again

2004-08-21T18:07:00.000-04:00

Well we have internet, but my ethernet card is busted i need to get a job so that i can buy a wireless one. still no luck on the job front. ive put in so many fucking applications yes even claires im a fuckin fag. but anyway past few days have been craziness. brendan turned 21 the other night big party lotsa drunkness. rob passed out and 10 minutes later was back in the kitchen making another drink. last night had a party again. met a couple kids from the infamous brandy alexander. they are cool guys they said they would play my b-day show so there are now 4 bands. we have the infamous brandy alexander, candor, the beards, and quell. the show is gonna be friday september 24th venue is tentative. if anything its gonna be in our basement. but yeah we are partying down tonight at our house. so im gonna go get ready for that.

"late night brakes lock hear the tires squeel, red light cant stop so i spin the wheel, my world goes black before i feel an angel lift me up and i open bloodshot eyes into florescent white flip the sirens hit the light close the doors and i am gone"

do you feel lucky punk? well do ya?

2004-08-14T14:32:00.000-04:00

well internet has not been working and now magically just started working. speaking of working i have a job interview monday at 1 at claires yes you heard me right i said claires. thats the only application that ive turned in so far. its not going to be the ideal job but ill take it if it pays well and/or gives me hours. it will suffice for now atleast cuz i need the money.

im bored right now most everyone is out of town. havnt done much besides look for jobs and sit at home. im on day 5 of mot smoking. its been hard especially the past couple days when i havnt been doing much of anything but hey i can do it. well thats all for now

"out of every girl i meet no other can compete id ditch em all for a night with you"

back in action

2004-08-13T16:21:00.000-04:00

i finally got internet. its been awhile lots have gone on. well i am in boone right now.

moved to boone saturday then we went to the beach tuesday. drank quite a bit. wednesday we went on brendans boat. we didnt get much fishing done but it was fun. we jumped off the boat going 20 mph we come up with crazy ideas. i dunno came back yesterday with rob. today got alot of job apps filled out.

mmm i miss my angela :( would think i would have more to talk about but i dont feel like it.

" you're seeing less of me darling and you're blind to the fact that my heart stopped beating and im as good as dead"

saying goodbye has never been so hard

2004-08-07T02:41:00.000-04:00

so yeah im leaving for boone tommorow morning...or shall i say later this morning. im excited to be back with my boys. but right now i am sad and happy and i dont know so much is going through my head right now.

i just got done saying goodbye to angela. its not going to be forever im going to make sure of that. you havnt seen the last of me :P i dont even know where to start these past few weeks have been amazing yeah its only been a few weeks but i feel like it should be longer. it should be longer. i feel there is this connection between us. i cant even begin to tell you how much i am going to miss you. you are truly an amazing and beautiful person. i will be thinking about you.
alot. thank you....thank you for finding me....thank you for being so amazing...thank you for making me cry and letting me know what its like to feel again....thank you for everything. i will always hold a piece of you in my heart. anytime im in raleigh we are going to hang out. come to boone anytime. this sux im leaving you i wish we could have had longer. i know this could have lasted. i miss you already. this is too hard im going to stop now. you are beautiful.

oh yeah i might not be able to write for a while dont know when we are gonna get internet but hopefully it will be soon.

angela this one is for you

"There's a piece of you that's here with me It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by I can make believe that you're here tonight That you're here tonight If I could find you now things would get better We could leave this town and run forever I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together Let your waves crash down on me and take me away I remember the look in your eyes When I told you that this was goodbye You were begging me not tonight Not here, not now We're looking up at the same night sky And keep pretending the sun will not rise Be together for one more night Somewhere, somehow"

so long, farewell, thanx for the good times

2004-08-05T20:27:00.000-04:00

well today was my last day working at american eagle. its sad. im gonna miss alot of people. some more than others. i had a fun day though i was in a great mood. the vice president never came. i got to scream that was fun i think i scared some customers oh well. it really hasnt set in yet that im leaving i feel like im gonna get up tommorow and go into work its weird. this has been the past year and a half of my life. im excited to go i wish i could take some people with me. ok ok i just wish angela could come with me. im gonna miss rick too weve had a lot of good times this past year and a half. well most of it boring but atleast we were bored together instead of sitting at home all the time. not to sound homoerotic or anything. angela i wished i had met you sooner... but rick made a point that if i had you would have been 16 :) but you are a great person it doesnt matter im gonna miss you greatly. guys feel free to come up and visit me anytime you want. my door is always open id love to have you up there.

well time to go eat and get ready gotta pick angela up from work soon.

"we drive tonight,and you are by my side. We're talking about our lives, like we've known each other forever. the time flies by,with the sound of your voice. its close to paradise, with the end surely near. if i could only stop the carand hold onto you, and never let go...i'll never let go. as we round the cornerto your house you turned to me and said,"i'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent."and, i want to speak these words but i guess i'll just bite my tongue, and accept "someday, somehow"as the words that we'll hang from. and i... don't want to speak these words. cause i, don't want to make things anyworse. why does tonite, have to end?why don't we hit restart, and pause it at our favorite parts. we'll skip the goodbyes. if i had it my way, i'd turn the car around and runaway, just you and i."

warped out of my mind

2004-08-03T00:35:00.000-04:00

ok this is prolly gonna be real long have lots to talk about. my computer is being slow as fuck right now im pissed all i want to do is write and go to bed im exhausted.

ok first of i guess ill start with work sunday. Hell! i come in and the computers are down have to imprint every credit card and put in an authorization code took forever. it was also busy as hell. at one point the two lines merged into one didnt get off the register for hours sucked yeah enough about that.

after work drove up to boone with joe. saw my house where im gonna be living. chilled at brendans had a pre-warped tour party went to bed about 2:30 woke up at 8:30. left for warped tour at about 10 got there around noon. met up with jamie and lindsay and a couple of their friends. brendan and kevin came down later. got there matchbook romance was playing was singing in the parking lot. $34.75 fer tickets. it was hot as fuck i was dying definatly got a nice sunburn. found out most of the bands we wanted to see were later in the afternoon. started off the day with silverstein great show they were on a small ass stage though which kinda sucked. then after that the next band i think we saw was the vandals. havnt seen them in years dot really listen to them much anymore but they were really fun. they played some old stuff:its a fact, oi to the world, and now we dance, ape drape, and my girlfriends dead along with some new stuff which i dont know. lots of fun as soon as they started playing and now we dance i was up in the pit. after that was coheed got all cramped in the middle of everyone as soon as they started playing everyone was all crushed and shit not fun i saw jamie getting out so i followed him. fuck that shit im sorry when im at a show i like to be able to move around on my own accord. they played one song off second stage turbine; devil in jersey city, great song. i still havnt had a chance to get into the new album much. me and jamie decided to go check out the bled only got to hear 3 songs but they were really good. after that underoath.....amazing. love the new album they played a couple songs off it and 3 songs off changing of times wow it was great loved it. alot more hxc kids there than i was expecting. after that went around to the tents picked up some merch. angela i got you some stuff ill give it to you tommorow...well today. then it was yellowcard. by this time we were all pretty worn out. found a nice spot to where we could see both stages. yellowcard was fun. yes i promised you angela i would go see them whenever they come around again so just let me know. hope u enjoyed listening to them live sorry you couldnt see them. taking back sunday was next. they suck live i mean really suck. they played some good songs but it sounded like shit not impressed. then it was on to flogging molly wished i still had the energy to dance cuz they played a great set. then that was it for me i feel like im leaving out a band but i cant think right now too tired. found out everyone was leaving so i figured you was out at the car when in fact he was watching avenged sevenfold wanted to see them but oh well i got to talk to angela :) so yeah definatly had a slim jim and some combos before going to warped tour and i refused to pay $5 for a fucking hotdog and $4 for water. waited in line for the water fountain instead. pisses me off that you go to an all day festival and they charge you out the ass for the necessities. you would think they would atleast have one of those tents that spray mist down or something its august in charlotte it had to be 90's. my face hurts ow. not to mention most of the rest of my body, yeah got a little bruised and battered today but it was worth it. mmm i think its bed time. have to work tommorow and i get to see angela yay! but im out for now.

im gonna make this one a little easy im going to tell you i saw this band today and they played this song.

"when she wakes you'll be a memory"

from me to you

2004-08-01T12:16:00.000-04:00

you have just gone
sweetest of goodbyes
your infectious beauty astounds me
i could kiss your lips forever
most beautiful blue eyes so alive
like the clearest blue ocean
im so glad you came to me
ive never felt so happy, infatuated
im never alone your face is always with me
so innocent
i long for your touch so gentle
softest of skin
i dream of your embrace again another day
tommorow is much too long
i wish you were here now
sleeping by my side
so that i would not awake alone
your beautiful face to start another beautiful day with you.

this is what i do when i cant sleep and ussually noone ever reads them well i wanted you to read this. you make me happy. i will miss you when im gone.

"your voice as beautiful as the sound of waves crashing against my heart"

see the pictures on the wall

2004-08-01T01:03:00.001-04:00

well hello again. today i did a bunch of stuff i can say i havnt done in a long time or at all. first of all woke up around 10. washed my moms car for her it was her b-day yesterday. cant remember the last time i washed a car by hand i sure as hell dont do mine. then me and angela went to the art museum. she was definatly hot in her white and black dress with black chucks. i saw flying babies...never seen that before. it was fun times. always is with her. then i drove to clayton and went to see a mudcats baseball game with rick and his dad. hadnt been to one of those in atleast 5 years. it was pretty fun they got their asses kicked so we ended up leaving before the 9th inning. then afterward we drove to kenly where rick works (hes a cop) and i have never been to kenly definatly a hole in the ground. got to smoke a cigarette in a police station. how many of you can say youve done that?? and now im back.

i wont be on for a few days i have to work all day tommorrow. then after work me and joe are driving up to boone. then monday we are driving to charlotte to see warped tour!!! im sorry you cant go angela but i promise ill bring you back something. gonna meet up with jamie and lindsay in the parking like and get our drink on before hand its gonna be a blast i cant wait.

well i guess im out for now

"good morning sunshine awake when the sun hits the sky "

work work work

2004-07-31T00:03:00.000-04:00

blah long day at work. worked from 3 till about 11:30 fun stuff. atleast i closed with good people. the day was definatly dragging on today but i was happy cuz angela stopped in yay that made my day. definatly was acting like a dork most of the day but it was all good i kinda had fun. oooooooooohhhh reeally funny story um im gonna have to explain some background first cuz anyone reading this either doesnt know me or doesnt know poeple i work with and stuff so yeah here we go:

so yeah i work with angela and they kinda frown on people dating at work so we are keeping it a secret except 2 people know jessica whom i told and corallie whom angela told. well i happened to be closing with both jessica and corallie along with donya the manager who is really cool we are close she considers me like her little brother. well out of the blue after we closed donya was like if angela wasnt so young id say you should date her and me and corallie and jessica were all like uhh........and kinda started laughing i definatly turned all red but at first donya just thought i was red because she thought i had like a crush on angela. but donya went in the back room and she could kinda tell something was up but once she went back there we were all like omg i cant believe she just said that blah blah blah and donya kinda overheard something and was like what is going on so i had to tell her but dont worry angela if u are reading this before i get to tell you she doesnt care shes not going to tell anyone she was just pissed that i hadnt told her earlier. so yeah that was really funny and random.

but yeah that was pretty much the extent of my day untill next time.

oooh im gonna start doing a thing if u identify my quote u might get a prize or sumthin, but prolly not. some are gonna be easy some not so easy.

"breathe in deep let it out slow did you hear GO GO GO"

that infectious smile

2004-07-30T02:22:00.000-04:00

it feels great to have someone who cares. it feels great to hold someone in your arms. everything feels great right now. im excited to move to boone but im sad to leave you.

had another great night with angela tonite. seems everynight i spend with her is great. :) ive used the word great alot.

arghhhh have to work till close tommorow night not looking forward to that.

"Once again your eyes make it hard to say goodbye So I'll just keep driving Where do you wanna go? It doesn't really matter, as long as you are here with me"

new

2004-07-29T18:27:00.000-04:00

ah yes i am new to here. i never updated my easyjournal. got lots to talk about and am going to in the future it seems.

life is changing so fast

so little time so much to do. moving in a little over a week. still have to pack. have to find a job when i get there. working alot in this time. warped tour monday. btbam, glasscasket, beloved, code7 friday dunno if i can go yet. not enough time to spend with my beauty. im gonna have a house! hotness. ahhh have to find a job need money. im out for now will write later

"that little voice inside my head says dont listen to anyone else follow your heart. age is no difference for happiness."